Find Your People: Building Deep Community in a Lonely World

Product Information

I think fans of Jennie and other Christian Living books will love this one. It's needed, easy to read, and practically helpful. I even think those who don't typically like this kinds of books, like me, will find it worthwhile. This is one that I will end up purchasing for our church and rereading. Though we shared a lot of interests, I felt like they never truly accepted me for who I was. There was a sense that they wanted me there to work and to even admire them, but few people seemed to be curious about me or to allow me in to become closer to them when I tried to become friends.

How to make friends as an adult - Vox

What have you done that you really wish you hadn’t? What can this teach you about your core values? How would you act if faced with a similar situation today? Every stranger is a potential friend, as they say. I’ve always been really shy, but when I focused on doing the things I enjoy, I started to get less shy, at least about those things. Above all, be true to yourself, and if you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it.” ~Unknown A therapist is often the best person you can talk to. Why? Because they are trained to help people in situations like yours. They can guide you and help you to unconver the truest and most authentic aspects of yourself – the REAL you. If it’s a real person rather than a work of fiction, it might be worth seeing if there are any documentaries or interviews that you could watch, or whether they have ever written an autobiography you could read.This can help you to get closer to the person and, in the process, closer to your true self. 4. Ask Others What They Think About You I wasn't sure what to expect with this one, but I put it on hold because as I've gotten older it is MUCH harder to make and keep friends. Talking about this from a biblical perspective should be an even better match for me, but I did NOT like this one at all and I'm obviously in the small minority. If you're going to write a book about friendship and you are a huge extrovert you have to understand that not everyone is like you. I feel like she glosses over a lot in this book and makes sweeping generalizations. For her friendship is calling someone while you're in the midst of a crying meltdown (which the author seems to have frequently), showing up at their house unannounced, and inviting yourself over for dinner. None of which sounds like the kind of friends I want (I would be there for a friend calling me upset or in a crisis, but I do NOT want people showing up at my house unannounced or inviting themselves over for dinner). I am an introvert, so a lot of her suggestions made my skin crawl. You’ve already taken the first step just by searching for and reading this article. The worst thing you can do right now is nothing. The best thing is to speak to a therapist. The next best thing is to implement everything you’ve learned in this article by yourself. The choice is yours.

How To Find Yourself: 11 Ways To Discover Your True Identity How To Find Yourself: 11 Ways To Discover Your True Identity

You know the ones—the people who get you, somehow; who are on the same wavelength. Some might even say the people who share the same brand of quirky, crazy, or oddness that you do. The ones who understand why you do what you do, or if they don’t understand, they either ask or they just accept, and either way is fine. Sometimes this process is slow and gradual. Other times certain events can shift things dramatically. In a world that's both more connected and more isolating than ever before, we're often tempted to do life alone, whether because we're so busy or because relationships feel risky and hard. But science confirms that consistent, meaningful connection with others has a powerful impact on our well-being. We are meant to live known and loved. But so many are hiding behind emotional walls that we're experiencing an epidemic of loneliness. What are the underlying reasons that you wish for these things? How does this translate into your current beliefs, values, and behaviors?

Here’s that link again if you’d like to learn more about the service BetterHelp.com provide and the process of getting started. Three of the most popular are the Big Five personality traits, the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator®, and the Enneagram Type Indicator. Once you’ve met people that you feel you want to connect to, practice being brave enough to be open about that with them. It’s not that everything’s perfect and that there are no conflicts or awkwardness, that everyone always gets along or that there aren’t moments of ambivalence where dynamics seem to shift. Remember, to find yourself is to be able to move through life with confidence in who you are and what you stand for.

Find Your People: Building Deep Community in a Lonely World

I can’t tell you how often I’ve heard people tell me they came to my comedy shows by themselves and met really cool people they became friends with. And if the idea of this terrifies you, it’s so helpful to see this less as, “Oh no, I’m gonna look like a loser who is alone” and more like, “What if I meet another cool person who is also there alone and we bond, and because I went alone, I created space for that to happen?” We humans Creating a contract -- yes, a contract! -- could help you get what you want from your relationshipOne of the first groups I thought were “my people” actually kind of intimidated me, and I never got up the nerve to be honest with people in the group about that. I ended up finding a related group that didn’t intimidate me as much, but I still wonder, if I had been willing to share my vulnerability with that earlier group, if I could have been able to connect with them more deeply. This society that you grew up in can put ideas in your head about the type of person you ought to be. Key takeaways -- It takes a lot of time to develop deep friendships so invest in trying to build up many hours of time with people. Be vulnerable and honest. Have tough, unpleasant conversations. Most important to Allen is that you seek out friendships where you spend a lot of time so you see those people all the time. She says it doesn't matter if you're not close in age or share a lot of things in common but you need to have relationships where you can be in each other's lives and do things like drop by unannounced. She also advocates telling your friends everything and asking things of them.

Find Your People: Building Deep Community in a Lonely World Find Your People: Building Deep Community in a Lonely World

At one point during childhood I even made up a story in my head about how I had been placed with my family as an experiment to see how someone would grow up with people who barely even shared the same language. I’m sure a lot of kids had similar thoughts. This book is atrue reflection of God’s heartfor us to experience authentic, vulnerable, and meaningful relationships.” —Sadie Robertson Huff,author, speaker, and founder of Live Original We don’t teach people how to do this, how to create friendships, how to nurture them, how to choose better, and then when and how to end them if they’re not working. And because of that, so many of us are just fumbling around, hoping one day we’ll stumble into the friendships of our dreams because we want them, because we deserve them. I have hermit tendencies that have been exacerbated by the difficulties of motherhood. I typically won’t be the first to reach out or to invite people over. I am awful at making plans. Seriously awful. Huge flaw. It’s not because i don’t care, I care more than you’ll ever know!! But, if someone else asks me to do something, I am there! If you need me to come help you organize your closet, I’ll be there in ten! Play date tomorrow? Absolutely! Easy solutions to create true connections, strengthen relationships and curb loneliness. With scientific insights and biblical references, Allen shares ways to identify the type of friend you need, how to have authentic conversations and more. It’s a sweet map to joy and connection.” — Woman’s WorldYou should feel comfortable with the person that you are and the ways you think and act and treat others. I have such a different lifestyle than Allen, who leads church groups and has a large social circle. Most of the book was not very helpful for me personally, but I will make an effort to look for more possible friends among people close by and to put in the 150 hours or whatever she said you needed to move towards close friendships with more people. All in all, I could have gotten that from a few sentences though instead of reading the whole book. Others will find it much more useful, I'm sure.