Oh My Goth: Jokes for When You Feel Dead Inside

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Others had us in stitches at how cutting they were - with some incredible put downs (sorry Boris Johnson) included in the responses readers sent in. Read More Related Articles This is one of those flash points in music history; there is before “Bela Lugosi’s Dead” and there is after. Bauhaus took the expansive atmosphere of Dub and turned the lights off. Only a bare minimum of instruments guide us through the darkness (with what sounds like a single, lit candle, of course). It’s nine minutes of simmering tension, which never quite boils over, but instead leaves the listener profoundly unsettled, just like the best horror movies. “Bela Lugosi’s Dead” truly was the blueprint: vocals oozing morose melodrama, guitars scratching at their insides and bass lines grooving to something much darker than the “Monster Mash,” and the atmosphere of that moment right after an act of incredible violence, silence so loud it’s unbearable.– Ben Cohn Why did the gothic novelist always carry an umbrella? She needed constant shade for her dark inspiration. Grave and Barrel Pub (Grave and Barrel is a play on “Grave and Barrel,” referencing the macabre theme)

How did the gothic hairstylist create the perfect hairstyle? With a cemetery brush and a tomb comb! Why did the gothic musician become a stand-up comedian? Because he wanted to bring some dark humor to the depressed masses. Gothic Bliss Records (Gothic Bliss combines the dark aesthetics of gothic culture with a positive feeling) goth #1: I'm so goth the people in the grocery store have refused to sell me any cereal other than Count Chocula. The Raven’s Quill Bookstore (The Raven’s Quill is a play on “The Raven,” a well-known gothic poem by Poe)Eerie Delights Ice Cream Parlor (Eerie Delights adds a spooky and mysterious atmosphere to the ice cream shop) Gothic Gaffes: Batty Spoonerisms Jonathan Sinister’s Antiques (Jonathan Sinister is a play on “Jonathan Harker,” a character from “Dracula”) Why did the gothic chef always season his dishes with a pinch of fairy dust? Because he wanted his food to taste both magically delightful and menacingly enchanted. What did the goth teenager say when their parents didn’t let them go to the graveyard? “You are so uncryptic!”

Ya da does five yard sprints in Sports Direct when he's trying his new trainers on' - Stephen Nixon Goth-Themed Cafes: Some cafes and eateries embrace gothic aesthetics, offering an atmospheric setting for you to enjoy your coffee or tea. Theoretically a goat can get impregnated by a moth. Scientists have never attempted the experiment however, as they don't want to create more goth kids.HA HA! Just… seriously. If you can’t handle a dodgy pun, you’re probably not going to want to be my friend. Dressing inappropriately for the weather/task at hand is something that folk seem to think Goths are awesome at. While naturally this does happen-an internet’s worth of images tells us so-Sweaty Puddle Goth is an as-yet to be recognised subtype of the traditional group, and so pics like this usually amuse me. Goth #1: I'm so Goth I got a tattoo of Celtic knot work starting at the top of my head, winding all the way down my body, and trailing five feet behind me on the floor.

Why did the gothic architect always design dark, eerie buildings? Because they wanted to create a “stately” haunted home. Bauhaus, Siouxsie & The Banshees, The Cure, Joy Division, the Sisters of Mercy, the Birthday Party, Cocteau Twins, Southern Death Cult (aka The Cult), Specimen, Flesh For Lulu, Sex Gang Children, UK Decay, Virgin Prunes, Killing Joke, Play Dead, Alien Sex Fiend, the March Violets, Xmal Deutschland, the Mission, Fields of Nephilim, the Claytown Troupe, Gene Loves Jezebel and many more, while The Damned played up their gothic elements with their 1985 album Phantasmagoria. We're made up that you read the Echo - so want to offer you great opportunities to Complete The Set and get more involved now!I asked the gothic hairdresser for a trim, and she replied, “I can never give you a cut that’s too sharp.” The gothic gym instructor told me that I need more exercise, but I think my obsession with darkness is enough to keep me in shape.