Togetherness: How to Build a Winning Team (Team Building)

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In BELONGING Owen Eastwood reveals, for the first time, the ethos that has made him one of the most in-demand Performance Coaches in the world. Drawing on his own Maori ancestry, Owen weaves together insights from homo sapiens' evolutionary story and our collective wisdom. He shines a light on where these powerful ideas are applied around the world in high-performing settings encompassing sport, business, the arts and military.

One of the wisest books about winning you'll ever read...Powerful lessons beautifully expressed.' - James Kerr This induction is the most critical time as an individual is most open to this new experience - our first experiences have a long-lasting impact on our sense of being part of this team. The sun rose in the east and shone on our first ancestor. Here is our origin story. Just as happens with each passing day, the sun slowly moves down this unbreakable chain of people. Each of us will have our time in the sun. But the sun is always moving. Moving towards the west, where it will finally settle. Slowly we have lost touch with our primal instincts as a creeping shift has taken place from ‘our’ purpose to ‘my’ purpose with individualistic societies in the Western world. These values - getting ahead of everyone else - work against our need to belong. They push a mindset of seeing ourselves against rather than with others.A recent Today article made a compelling point on how forgiveness is vital to bring us together in relationships:

Unlike the feeling of loneliness, which is subjective, isolation describes the objective physical state of being alone and out of touch with other people. Isolation is considered a risk factor for loneliness simply because you’re more likely to feel lonely if you rarely interact with others. But physically being alone doesn’t necessarily translate into the emotional experience of loneliness. Many of us spend long stretches by ourselves when we’re so involved in our work or creative pursuits that we don’t feel at all lonely. We do not want our leaders’ personal beliefs forced upon us - we want our tribe’s authentic values articulated. And we don’t want rules - we want values to aspire to that define what it means to be part of our tribe. In whakapapa terms, as the sun arrives on each generation their high purpose is passed on to them and they ask the question: what do we need to do to promote the wellbeing of our people? Therein lies their mission. The heroes in our stories personify the best version of Us. The villains fall into two camps: Them, but also the individuals within Us who are selfish - those who put themselves before Us and thereby risk our safety, stability and status.We reconnect to the past which requires understanding the heritage of a team and the tribe they represent. A whakapapa is moulded featuring key ancestors, moments and legacies of the team but also studied is the wider story of the tribe the team represents. While technology promises to connect us, it can also isolate; while mobility means our loved ones are only a train ride or flight away, we also move away from the communities where we grew up; while we increasingly have the opportunity to pursue our individual destinies, we can put our own goals ahead of our relationships and community; and despite all of the progress we have made in how we talk about mental health, we are still ashamed of feeling lonely. Dr. Murthy further contextualizes the subject with explorations of the social and evolutionary implications of our need to connect and what happens when we find ourselves untethered. You are precious precisely because you have the ability to give and receive love. That is your magic. And it is our mission as parents to make sure you know that no one can ever take that away from you."