Nice Girls Don't Get The Corner Office: 101 unconscious mistakes women make...

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You can still be who you are and operate according to your values, while asking for what’s rightfully yours, setting better boundaries, speaking up, and learning to act like you deserve your success. Because you do. My experience with women who give up what’s important to them to meet the needs of the job is that they either don’t have anything to go home to or they don’t want to deal with what they do have to go home to. But there is also much nature in how men and women behave. It’s important to also recognize nature because that helps to provide more wholesome solutions. Stop needing to be liked. I think this is so ingrained in teaching gender roles--that it's better to be liked than many other things. Remember that when people are angry/annoyed at you, it might be because they're trying to get you to do something that they want/act a certain way. I'm not sure that I 100% agree with this, but I do know that being liked isn't necessarily the best method of achieving what you want at the risk of everything else.

Sharing Too Much Personal Information: don’t entirely withhold personal information, but don’t over-share, either

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In a few cases, that might work. But in most office situations, that’s overly aggressive and not good advice. To all the inspiring women out there who are doing just that by changing the game one step at a time, who are advocating for their dreams and ambitions, and who are leading by example; keep going. A successful workplace relationship (…) is one in which you clearly define what you have to offer and what you need or want from the other person. It will create an imbalance in your workload and lead to taking more responsibility than you should. Remember that people are not hired and promoted just because they work hard. It’s a great plus, sure, it says you’re engaged and committed to your work and the company, but there are other things like people knowing your character and feeling confident about your ability to deliver results and get the job done (which isn’t always necessarily equal to doing the job yourself). In this sense, learning how to properly delegate and having clearly defined responsibilities for each team member can help you avoid the tendency of doing other people’s work. Don't always explain. Just because you know more about a subject doesn't mean you need to say it all. "Depending on your level of expertise, it may be incomplete to you, but not to the other person." This goes along with thinking that everyone knows more than you do.

Don't share too much personal information. If a personal situation is affecting job performance, don't explain, but say, "I'm going through a rough time right now but my job is important to me. I'll work on paying closer attention to the details." From the outset I want you to know and, even more important, believe that the mistakes impeding you from reaching your career goals or potential don't happen because you're stupid or incompetent (although others might want to make you think so). You are simply acting in ways consistent with your socialization or in response to cultural expectations. Beyond girlhood, no one ever tells us that acting differently is an option—and so we don't. Whether it's because we are explicitly discouraged from doing so, because social messages inform our behavior, or because we are unaware of the alternatives, we often fail to develop a repertoire of woman-appropriate behaviors. Let me give you an example of a woman with whom I worked who wondered why she wasn't reaching her full potential. Susan was a procurement manager for a Fortune 100 oil company. She'd been with this firm for more than twelve years when she expressed frustration over not moving as far or as fast as male colleagues who'd commenced employment at the same time she did. Although Susan thought there might be gender bias at play, she never considered how she contributed to her own career plateauing. Before Susan and I met one-on-one in a coaching session, I had the opportunity to observe her in meetings with her peers.

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The example was a girl who, responding to her grandfather’s public bragging, said “oh, they were just golden state awards”. Get out of your safety zone--this is one I actually did *before* reading this book. After a bit of pressure/boost of confidence from a coworker, I volunteered for a writing assignment, and my boss said "sure." And now I'm quite nicely doing it. I'm stretching my skill set and learning new things. "If you're willing to take the calculated risk of possibly failing, it's not selfish to learn on the job." Don't always feel the need to help. "Because women are taught early in their lives that others must know more than they do, so knowledge and self-confidence must be gained externally. Helping others is one way capable women gain external validation for their self-worth." SO TRUE. Men rely on relationships to open doors for them; they don’t view it as taking advantage of anyone.