NOT "Just Friends": Rebuilding Trust and Recovering Your Sanity After Infidelity

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Or when my friend would do something nice for me, I'd wonder why my husband didn't do things like that, and wish he would. Albeit completely eliminating the chances of cheating is impossible, you can take many effective steps to make it less likely. Because betrayal is so traumatic and recovery takes time, I use an interpersonal trauma recovery plan that parallels the ones recommended for victims of natural disasters, war, accidents, and violence. Reconciliation peer support is emotional and practical support between people who share the common experience of reconciling after infidelity. Perhaps this was a lukewarm listen because this book replayed the events from book two, just from different POVs, so conflicts and twists were already out there.

Yet you can protect your relationship from emotional or sexual betrayal by recognizing the red flags that mark the stages into an improper, dangerous intimacy that can threaten your marriage. Shirley Glass, the godmother of infidelity ( The New York Times ), people today are cheating on their spouses more than ever before-especially in the workplace.

When I analyzed the data, I found that infidelity in young marriages either meant dissatisfaction or was a predictor of divorce. In fact, much of the conventional wisdom about what causes affairs and how to repair relationships is misguided. Fact: The lure of an affair is how the unfaithful partner is mirrored back through the adoring eyes of the new love. This concern quickly became irrelevant because the feedback I have received from clients about working with Dr. I found this book to be incredibly insightful in its identification of the subtle transition from friends to lovers.

Although I'm gratified to know that I've helped many people personally through these venues, I am hoping that I can reach many more through this book. More than 90 percent of married individuals believe that monogamy is important, but almost half of them admit to having had affairs. I've altered all descriptive details in the case examples to protect the couples and maintain their confidentiality, but the actual interpersonal and individual issues are based on factual accounts. But it is obvious that in this new crisis of infidelity, an increased number of unfaithful husbands have deep emotional connections to their affair partner.Posted by admin on Sep 15, 2015 in Uncategorized | Comments Off on Book Review: Not “Just Friends” by Shirley P.

Most people, including unfaithful partners, think that talking about an affair with the betrayed partner will only create more upset, but that is actually the way to rebuild intimacy. They split hairs and decide that their commitment permits them to do this but does not allow them to do that. You install a picture window between you and your marriage partner and construct a solid or opaque wall to block out contact with the affair partner.How should we handle the moments of pain that continue to intrude months and years after these events are over?

Throughout this book, I use the image of "walls and windows" to symbolize the levels of emotional intimacy within the marriage and within the affair. By completing your purchase, you agree to Audible's Conditions of Use and authorise Audible to charge your designated card or any other card on file.Glass presents eye-opening quizzes that will help you ensure safe friendships and secure marriages by exploring the vulnerabilities in your relationship and any outside influences that may put it at risk. In fact, the spouse who gives too little is at greater risk than the spouse who gives too much because he or she is less invested.