My Dad's Jokes are Punny, So Color Him Funny!: 101 hilarious cartoons

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How can a single egg be fertilized with 100 million sperm? Because they will not stop to get directions. A guy goes to a pet store to buy a goldfish. The salesman asks him, "Do you want an aquarium?" The guy responds, "I don't care what star sign it is!" A bear walks into a restaurant. He tells his waiter, "I want a grilled… cheese." The waiter says, "What's with the pause?" "Whaddya mean?" the bear replies. "I'm a bear!" What is the best woman scare nightmare? An attractive naked man eating yogurt, a sexy private tutor who assembles a Rubik’s cube, and a smiling Roman soldier ready for various sexual pleasures. And all these men are standing next to her husband, who has a piece of toilet paper constantly clinging to his shoe and who hasn’t had sex in 100 years.

Nowadays, we receive tons of information… Retaining this information is not easy, I know, that is why I use short jokes to impress people. The short jokes are always easier to remember! Are you bored? Are you in need of a good laugh? Are you getting ready for a rainy day when all of a sudden it pours? Whatever the reason, we’ve got you covered! People are always worried about their cell phones or microwaves spying on them. Truth is, those are not the appliances you need to be concerned about. It’s your Vacuum Cleaner that you need to be worried about – it’s been collecting dirt on you for years. Why is being in the military like a blow-job? The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel. Not every time you tell a joke people will laugh immediately. That is not your fault! Sometimes, people do not understand the joke or pun, other times, those jokes are so specific that they are really out of their usual world.Never criticize someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you'll be a mile away, and you'll have their shoes. Why do b**bs and toys have so much in common? Both were originally intended for kids, but daddies end up playing with them instead. If you’re enjoying this article, you might also love A better way to communicate: Create stunning infographics with PosterMyWall A man walks into a library and asks the librarian for books about paranoia. She whispers, "They're right behind you!" What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit? A zit will wait until you’re twelve before it comes on your face.

A boy says to a girl, “So, sex at my place?” “Yeah!” “Okay, but I sleep in a bunk bed with my younger brother, and he thinks we’re making sandwiches, so we have to have a code. Cheese means faster and tomato means harder, okay?” Later on, the girl is yelling, “Cheese cheese, tomato tomato!” The younger brother says, “Stop making sandwiches! You’re getting mayo all over my bed!” We sincerely hope you had a good laugh and found a fun joke to share with your friends and family. If not, well, then we have even more for you. Wanna REALLY funny jokes to tell your family (children included) that they will love? Well, here are the ones my family laughed most at.

Why Do Funny Story Jokes Work?

In my family, we have a joke contest for Christmas. We started some years ago and that is why I started collecting jokes… Now I am sharing them here. Have you heard about Murphy's Law? Yes. Anything that can go wrong will go wrong. How about Cole's Law? No. It's julienned cabbage in a creamy dressing.