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Whatever Next! (A Bear Family Book, 2)

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Anne Glenconner was born Lady Anne Coke in 1932. The eldest daughter of the 5th Earl of Leicester, she grew up at Holkham Hall in Norfolk and was a childhood friend of the late Queen and Princess Margaret and a maid of honour at the Queen’s coronation. She married Colin Tennant, later Lord Glenconner and the owner of Mustique, an island in the West Indies, in 1956. They had five children together, of whom three survive. Her son Charlie, a former heroin addict, died of hepatitis in 1996. Her son Henry died of Aids in 1990. She was appointed lady in waiting to Princess Margaret in 1971. Her first book, a memoir called Lady in Waiting, was published in 2019 and became a surprise hit. Now she has written another, Whatever Next?, in which she reveals that during her marriage she was a victim of domestic violence. Whatever Next? covers some of the same ground as Lady in Waiting, but the tone is much darker, especially about her marriage to Colin Tennant. Before, she painted him as a highly-strung eccentric who was liable to throw tantrums, but now she calls him “an incredibly selfish, damaged and occasionally dangerous man” and says that “I lived with domestic violence and abuse for most of my marriage”. Well, I’ve given up supper. I find that eating late gives me indigestion and I wanted to lose weight around my middle. It’s marvellous. I never feel hungry. I have breakfast and a good lunch and that’s it. I lost a stone without trying. I also walk every day and properly. You’ve got to lift your feet up. Lady Glenconner served as a maid of honour at the coronation of Elizabeth II in 1953. She was Extra Lady-in-Waiting to Queen Elizabeth II's sister, Princess Margaret, Countess of Snowdon from 1971 until the Princess died in 2002.

The Queen always understood that the deference paid to her was because of her position and what she represented, not because of who she was as a person. I think one of the reasons she was so loved was because she was not arrogant or haughty.” The Telegraph values your comments but kindly requests all posts are on topic, constructive and respectful. Please review our Not really. I just think it was a final cruelty. People do ask if he was gay or bisexual, but I really don’t know. He had a lot of affairs with ladies. He had huge appetites. It was the same with shopping. In India once, he saw these windows on a house. He wanted them, but not a copy. He wanted those very windows. He had a compulsive side. My mother whizzed around Norfolk on her beloved Harley Davidson until she was well into her sixties, in her motorcycle leathers. She was my great friend and champion when I was growing up, and encouraged me to be brave and adventurous, but she never fussed about what I was feeling or wanted to indulge my anxieties. We had to put others first, but not to the extent of becoming doormats in our dealings with the world. It was important to stand up for oneself when necessary. Otherwise her message was simple. Never complain. Life isn’t fair. You will have to do things you won’t want to do, so just get on with it. Putting a brave face on things was all we could do.” We talked about imagination and how we could use different things to pretend - we do a lot of duplo and painting but don't play many imaginative games, so it was very helpful to have this prompt. One day we were making paper books and Miles made one inspired by Whatever Next. He told me story and did the pictures, I just transcribed what he said. Mummy Bear and Baby Bear made quite an impression on him!’

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Anne wasn't the only one in her family to deal with marital woes; she mentions her beloved sister Carey, who had a husband "who would only talk to her through the dog for years on end." This is very sad, but I'll admit I had to laugh when I read it :) Who can believe the things some people do?! Yes, but thanks to this book, I’ve had the most wonderful conversations with them. We’ve been able to talk about what Colin, their father, did to them in great detail and I’ve been able to say: “Oh, darlings.” This was an easy and again, an interesting read; although I first thought it was going to be a rehash of ‘Lady in Waiting’; it just went into things in more depth and less in some others. I liked how the chapters were split into themes; not many photos though this time. This one was more a re-hashing of that one. Maybe I was too eager and didn’t give enough time between both books.

From her childhood nanny (one of the good ones; she also had a horrendous one), she often heard, "Let's go and explore." Anne has continued to have a love of travel throughout her life. "The world is full of interesting things to see, but you have to go and look for them." After reading "Lady in Waiting", also written by Lady Glenconner, I didn't know what else she could have added to top it but I was actually surprised by what I read: it was a more thorough approach to facts she lightly touched on her first book, and I get why she did it. Old generations raised in between WW2 and what it came afterwards weren't into dwelling on feelings, and the past: you just went on with it. At least, that is what my grandparents did. Bracing honesty, rare insight, and more revelations: the New York Times bestselling author of Lady in Waiting shares everything she's learned from her extraordinary and unexpected life. Now in her early 90’s she is very much enjoying her new life as an author, and touring to promote her books!!

No, because I was able to murder her in my novel A Haunting at Holkham[published in 2021]. I got rid of her and there was a wonderful feeling of relief. This is true of a lot of the awful things that have happened to me in my life. Now I’ve written about them, I feel completely different. It’s had a wonderful effect on me. You feel that your governess, Miss Bonner , who tied you to your bed at night as a child, made you more vulnerable to a man like Colin Tennant . Does she still haunt you? I lived with domestic violence and abuse for most of my marriage’: Lady Glenconner with her husband Colin on his private island, Mustique, in 1973

Give children a large piece of paper and paints or crayons to paint a picture of their journey to the moon. Anne brings her stark forthrightness, signature charm and bravery to show the world what her life has taught her, including when she endured the darkest moments of her marriage. Despite what she has endured she remains resilient and has thrived as time moves forward. She became an expert at the fine art of diplomacy, learning when to make peace and when to stand and fight, when to lean on trusted friends and when to take a lover. Alongside all of this, she gained great proficiency at throwing incredible parties, surviving at the centre of the Royal Family, maintaining a resplendent home and - as a lady in waiting - gaining much needed diplomatic skills and the finer points of etiquette. As a parent she endured some of the hardest lessons a parent can, gaining the fortitude and experience to endure even the worse life can offer, as well as how to celebrate the great things life has to offer too their fullest. But isn’t stoicism a double-edged sword? As you admit in your book, life might have been better for you and your children if you’d talked more.

She was the most wonderful friend to me, because she saw all this [the trouble with Colin] going on. She had some of the same problems herself – I saw how Tony [Lord Snowdon] behaved – and it was worse for her, because she was in the public eye. But she saved my life in a way. She was caring, but she was also practical. She didn’t approve of crying or moaning. You had to pull yourself together. Rounded up. What I enjoyed: it was refreshing to see Anne Papp roach her marriage and the abuse she suffered with less defense of her husband and for being more honest about how horrible his behavior was. I also loved her optimism about challenges we face in life. It was a much needed reminder for me. This book has valuable insights and information on how to cope with whatever life throws at you. Anne says she believes it was her early training on how to behave and her experiences during WWII and as a traveling saleswoman for her family pottery that gave her the ability to deal with everything which happened to her later.

Lady Glenconner has suffered more than her fair share of tragedy – her eldest son died of heroin addiction, the second of Aids, and the third was involved in a terrible motorbike crash that left him with serious head injuries. But she believes in putting a brave face on things. When asked for the secret of a healthy old age, she advises people to sit up straight, to lift their feet when walking and not shuffle, and to make lunch their last meal of the day. But most important, as we can see from this book, is to be as open-minded and entertaining as she clearly is.I think that Anne's life is very interesting to me because parts of it are so different than mine. But the part of her life that really inspires me is the way that she reinvents herself over and over. She is over ninety years old and has become an author and she just loves it. Some letters come from people who are facing difficult times, often asking my advice on how to cope. It’s very difficult as all our lives are so different and we cope in different ways. I tell them never to give up, and remind them that life often turns round. I also encourage them not to dwell on things. There is a difference, I think, between facing problems and allowing oneself to be overwhelmed by them, though that can be a difficult line to tread. I also tell them I try to think of myself as a puppet with a string coming out of the top of my head, pulling me upwards. That way I sit up straight and look forward. Quite honestly, it makes me feel better if I ever get depressed. It’s often silly things that can make a difference.” When writing about her life, I couldn't help many times but be amazed at what it must be like to have such wealth: "We had an excellent staff, and though I felt terribly busy at the time, I never cleaned a bath or made a bed." Anne seemed to have great common sense in dealing with things: "Sometimes I find that talking too much about life's problems can simply make one more agitated and prolong the misery. Friends mean well, but they tend to sympathize and tell you you're right to be so upset and egg you on to feel wronged. That can actually make things worse if you let it." I think this is a great observation! Princess Margaret was also a believer that "one didn't dwell." She also downplays crying. "It's absolutely no use." Generally I agree with this too.

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